LondonPass Day 5 of 6

Friday January 15th

Ok then….where to start. Well I had a nice visit to GoldCrest Stage 1 where Kerry Williams was shooting group for an undisclosed film. I met Beckie around 12pm and we made our way down to the Tower of London. First of all this site is spectacular and no wonder why it is the main draw of the city. That said, I can’t imagine how busy that place is during the summer. It was a snowy cold day and there were still quite a bit of people. I could go on forever about this place but I’ll try to keep it short and detailed. You can tell the tower was a constant work in progress and it’s architectural organization is subject to many centuries of expansion and reinforcement. We went into the Bloody Tower where it is rumored the young princes Edward V and Richard were murdered around 1483. Apparently in 1674 two young male skeletons were found in a staircase closet in the Chapel of St. John, speculated to be the princes. The courtyard was interesting to see because it looked like a mini village with the big White Tower in the center. We made sure to visit Beauchamp Tower the fabled prisoner “cell” of the site. There were many carvings in the wall made by various prisoners held there with a lot dating from the 1500’s. We took a quick people mover tour through the Crown Jewel area, very shiny and pretty….many a monkey would like it. From there were went through the White Tower and checked out the Henry VIII armour exhibit. The exhibit was spectacular and it showcased all sorts armor from his reign, from skinny to chubby. Unfortunately, I felt the tour took away from the White Tower which wasn’t really even acknowledged. The exhibit had you staring at armour that was made 400 years AFTER the White Tower was built. So you’re walking through giant great rooms that were inhabited by the first Norman kings of the island. Amazing. We made it out of the White Tower before the exhibit closed and made our last rounds around the grounds. We have to come back. We then made our way over to the London Bridge Experience on the south side of the river. When I first saw the sign for the experience I was immediately reminded of fun houses at the beach…suntan lotion, gold necklaces and mouth breathing jocks. Ok, so…onto the London Bridge experience. It was Beckie, me and another couple as we were shepherded (is that a word?) through a series of large dioramas outlining the various stages of the London Bridge area. I was thrown under the bus and was volunteered to be the group leader and interact with the actors throughout the various dioramas. I was given a Saxon name-Brownlowe. Brownlowe and his yellow bellied mates conquered a Saxon invasion of London, a severed head hawker, the Great London Fire and a commodities salesman during London’s great stink. The actor’s were funny but some of the really corny jokes were made even more awkward by our small groups courteous chuckles…as the actor stared on in weird silence. Then the madness began. We were escorted from the London Bridge experience to the London Tombs experience…basically a haunted house. Well, I again took the lead into a dark fake London Transport repair job under London Bridge. Of course the restoration job is haunted and we had to navigate through because we’re clueless tourists who stumbled into a highly secure restoration project. To be honest, it was scary. After a nice build up of nothing happening people started jumping out at you from nowhere and disappearing. The darkness, smoke and the epileptic strobe lights helped to disorient you and keep your pupils from adjusting to the darkness. We came to a part where we had to squeeze through two air bags that pressed against you. Well hell no Beckie wouldn’t go….to no fault of her own. All the while the ghouls are closing in like Thriller and we were looking for a way out. The ghouls started to realize we weren’t going through so they snarled “Go through!” but we weren’t about to. The couple we were with said they would go out with us…but then decided to go through. As the ghouls drew near one realized something was wrong and broke character and said in a Cockney accent “You awright?” After Beckie explained the situation to the ghoul the other couple, who made it through, shouted back and said it wasn’t bad. Ok fine, we forced ourselves through and had the satisfaction of knowing we made one of the monsters break character. Of course there was a ghoul in the middle of the airbags and if Beckie’s hand wasn’t pinned by the bags it would’ve been an immediate ball grab from her with a Celtic warrior “Haawwwwrrraarrrrrr.” That dude was lucky. We finished out the scare fest with a dude with a real sounding and smelling chainsaw chasing us. Fun.
Time to continue the tourist trap tour! We went to the Medieval Banquet by the Tower of London. It is basically a banquet in an old but huge wine cellar near the old docks. We were guests of the friendly and headset microphone wearing Henry VIII. His court and wenches sang and danced and supplied us with food and beer. There was of course lots of jokes about Henry’s libido and passes made at female guests. The show was entertaining and about 2 hours long. The place could hold about 350 but there were only about 50 of us there. I imagine it has to be really loud when everyone cheers “Drink hail” when Henry requests it. There were some historical inaccuracies amongst the cast but Beckie dealt with it. We were seated next to an American couple who the husband was Air Force and chose to be stationed in England…they were nice. When the show was over it quickly turned into a discothèque and played “It’s Raining Men” twice. The cast of the show hung around and downed some beers while the overfed guests pranced around. We hung around for a while and then made our way back to the apartment. Oh and we did two caches before the dinner! Woo hoo! What a day.